Wednesday, May 03, 2006 @ 11:40 PM
no. i'm not fine. i'm not as strong as i've thgt myself to be.
i'm near breakdown every night at the funeral...
when i burned my 1st incense for her
when i didnt have the courage to look at her
when i pray with the monks n the other cousins
when i read from the scriptures how the other world looks like
when i saw the photo she took of herself where she lost all her hair but still smiling
when i saw she scribbled lots of 'why?' in her diary
when i heard from her melbourne frens tt she told them not to come n c her
when i heard she needed 4 morphine needles each day to relieve pain
when i noe she puts on a brave front for us but cried every night cuz of the immense pain
when i listen to my aunt telling us how she passed on
when i heard the nurses commented it's so seldom to c someone passed on so fast n peacefully
no struggle.. her breath jux died down slowly
when i realised this person... is no longer here anymore.
hey.. yanyan n ah boy came back today... saw them? weiying n ur bro is on the plane now i guess.. their flight got delayed.. i heard alice is coming tml too... hmm.. all of us r back.. =)
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Tuesday, May 02, 2006 @ 6:00 PM
hey there.. =) how r u feeling right now?? chris aunt got u a wig u noe... hahas.. i have no idea how it looks yet.. but hey.. who would haf thgt we needed wigs... it's a new hairstlye for a change, yeah? a change for sth.. better.....
does all pain cease there?? if so.. then i'm reali happy for u... is it too long a battle?? everyone hoped u fight on.. including me... but i think u've decided to take a rest... n reside in our hearts.. it was a gd battle though.. my dad commented u r brave tis morning! hahas.. he nv did tt since i haf memory.. great job done! ^-^
n oh!! i hope there r nice food over there.... u noe.. those tt u've been craving for.. pizza, sushi, pork floss bun, yamyam choco bar, coffee bean latte, egg tarts..etc etc.. hahas.. those tt i've refused to buy for u... i felt sad when u told me it's ok.. but then!! when u turned around n asked someone else to buy it for u instead.. -_-" wad more can i say.. hahas..
i'm sorry if i cannot see u off on sat.... i do not want tt day to b my deepest memory of you... hope you'll understand... i guess.. i will c u off in the sky above sentosa... now.. isnt tt more romantic?? lols.. watch over ur parents yeah?? they've worked hard together with u.. =)
and. all of us miss u so...........
big hugs to yenting jiafeng esther chiengsiew jiayi chianwen n liting.. ^-^ hope i didnt scare u off.. hahas..
n to the guy who nv seems to haf the time to read tis particular blog.. [jux in case u happen to read..] *hugs* thanks for everything. ^-^
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